Bunkers can be glimpsed from the car
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4. Dangerous distractions
For many of us, the distant, glimpsed sight of a golf course can be a dangerous distraction - especially at the wheel of a car.
How many times have you been driving along in unfamiliar territory, then suddenly spotted a rogue flagstick or bunker through the trees?
Either is an inevitable head-turner and liable to cause and accident as you jam on the brakes to investigate. We just can't seem to help ourselves!
5. Misplaced travel care
When travelling, especially with our family, our golf equipment tends to receive far more care and attention than our loved ones.
While other members of our group concentrate on making sure our travel documents, suitcases and assorted belongings are present and correct, our own somewhat selfish focus tends to be on whether our clubs make it to their destination via the oversize baggage section.
And wo-be-tide any airline that damages a club or rips a cover. Fortunately, in my experience, like taxi drivers, baggage handlers usually appreciate a golf bag's obvious contents and handle it with less gusto than a Samsonite suitcase.
6. Handling abuse about handicaps
As golfers we are often the target of Chinese whispers or assumptions by complete strangers that we are cheats and vagabonds just because we occasionally hit a brief, but rich vein of form.
We have all been subjected to cries of 'bandit!' or similar innuendo, which is tantamount to inferring we have our finger in the till or use insider influence to jump the career ladder.
We put up with it because it's a sideways compliment but it can be uncomfortable to be penalised socially for holing a few freak putts.
7. Managing fellow players
Golf is a game with a unique etiquette where we are supposed to keep our cool while frustration surrounds us at all times. Without some personal skills learned by trial and error, it's sometimes tough to keep your head.
For example the speed of play can vary enormously and one of the most difficult skills is to approach the group ahead to encourage them to get a move on without incurring their wrath at the humiliation.
Delivering a golf ball over their heads at 100 mph is not the right way, nor is loudly, verbally abusing them from the tee while they consider club selection 150 yards ahead.
It's a talent to be able to coax and conjole them to step up the pace without the situation turning ugly.
8. Take a sensitive approach to cheats
Despite its image of etiquette and good manners, golf attracts its own share of cheats.
Because of the high social esteem in which golfers' reputations are held, there are still those (thankfully rare) who believe in taking a short cut to a higher percieved standard by bending or breaking the Rules.
Dealing with them is a difficult skill but as with the British justice system they must be assumed innocent until proven guilty. Make sure you have sufficient evidence and witnesses before quietly confronting them with sensitivity.
9. Why do we punish ourselves?
Beware the injured golfer! It's a popular and amazingly accurate warning.
While footballers, rugby players or cricketers (where athleticism is demanded), will rest for fear of making an injury worse, golfers will tend to battle through the pain barrier to pursuit of their passion.
Our single-minded, stubborn determination to complete the round, while often in discomfort through lack of preparation or ill-conceived pre-match intake, is legendary. Just don't expect any sympathy when you get home!
10 Disruption of TV schedules
I have often touched on a golfer's selfishness and nowhere is it more transparent than in front of the television screen.
While other members of the family will pine for a soap opera or comedy show, the control freak golfer tends to ignore the pleas and protests to hog the front row seat with the remote in a firm Vardon grasp.
Three hours of live golf, interrupted only by golf-related adverts, will drive his companions out of the home in search of alternative entertainment, which may not receive full appreciation when they return in the early hours!
Thinking of taking up golf? You have been warned!
