What's the rush?

Supermarket speed

THERE ARE some things in life that should be done at pace. Take the weekly food shopping for example. The hours spent negotiating cramped aisles, battling with super-strength pensioners at bargain corner and deliberating over whether to have chicken or fish five days from now are fraught with stress and anxiety.

It is a chore undertaken out of necessity rather than enjoyment and one that should be dispatched with the minimum of fuss and time expended. To this list I would also add Christmas shopping - actually, any form of shopping - visits to the dentist and Sunday lunch with the in-laws.

Golf, however, is not one of these things. It is an experience to be enjoyed, maximised and savoured - much like a Werther's original. The longer you keep it on your tongue the more fulfilling and soothing the experience. Crunch and swallow it after a few seconds and you're left feeling as if you have somehow missed out.

At this stage, I should point out that in no way is this defending the ludicrously long five-hour plus rounds of golf on busy courses. The tortoise can be just as frustrating and inconsiderate as the hare at times. A leisurely and enjoyable round of golf should take around four hours - after all, a deliciously creamy toffee can only last so long before it has to be swallowed.

Don't get frustrated by a slow fourball in front...

These people hurtle round as though they are awarded extra points for finishing in allotted time. Last time I checked, that wasn't the case. Or perhaps swapping tales of round times with their mates is akin to comparing biceps - or worse - in the locker room?

“I did it in two hours and 34 minutes today and over took three groups” said Speedy Gonzalez.

“That's nothing. I managed it in two hours 29 minutes and played through five groups. You should have seen one of the duffers. He must have played four shots in one bunker before I just played through” replied Road Runner.

Are these people's lives not frantic enough without adding to it on the golf course? To me, golf is not a race. It's a way of escaping from the pressure and strain of everyday life and I find it nigh on impossible to do so when the group behind are intent on hurrying me off the course, into my car and back home before I have had the chance to fully appreciate how lucky I am to be out there in the first place.

...enjoy the walk and the company

I have played with a number of beginner golfers who have seen a potentially decent and confidence building round fall to pieces because they have felt under undue pressure or not been allowed a couple of minutes grace to look for a ball. It's a wonder that beginners actually stick with the game under these circumstances.

I am sympathetic to the plight of evening and weekend golfers who try to fit a round in where they can between work and family life. My five-month-old son ensures that I regularly have to deal with similar time constraints.

But when I know that I don't have four hours to spare I will head off to the driving range or maybe just fit nine holes in rather than trying to tear round 18 holes regardless of who is in my way.

This compromise will satisfy my golfing fix; it means no-one is pressurised by my lack of time and ensures that when I next have time for a full 18 holes I truly savour the experience.

Anyone still intent on racing a trolley round at a rate of knots can just meet me down at Tesco's where I will gladly hand over my shopping list.

David Connor

David Connor is a freelance sports journalist who contributes to a range of national and specialist titles - as well as writing on his blog Fore! Four Two.

A 12 handicapper, based in Scotland, he is privileged to have the world's best golf courses on his doorstep. He says his favourite experience in golf is catching a driver or a long iron out of the meat of the club, knowing not even Tiger could have hit it any sweeter. That one shot, out of the 80 or so others, keeps him coming back for more.