Dictionary of Golfspeak
Bizarre golfing terms. Perhaps you know some others?
Posted: 23 November 2001
In order to qualify as a serious golfer, you have to know the lingo!
It's not much fun when you are striding the links not being able to understand your playing partners when they come out with a golfing euphemism and you can't understand it. Get reading and start joining in instead.
Or if you are an old timer at this game, let's have some of your contributions to share with other Golfmagic members on the forum.
"As old Henry Longhurst used to say": Peter Aliss' favourite saying.
A dog licence: Beating your opponent 7&6, the old price of a dog licence funnily enough.
A Rosburg: David Feherty's reference to a bad lie in the rough, from commentator Bob Rosburg who always says that players have bad lies if they miss a fairway, not always true.
Amateurville Horror:. Hopeless putt taking no account of the real break.
At least you're dressing better: Said when your partner plays a bad shot.
Baffie: Old name for a five-wood.
Balata flush: A putt that goes in at speed
Big Easy: Ernie Els
Billy: A balata covered ball or Darren Clarke's caddy.
Blades: A dying breed of golf clubs.
Blondie: A fair crack up the middle.
Bogeyville:. Any place on the golf course from where you can't make a par.
Cellophane Bridge: A putt that crawls agonisingly over the lip.
Chilli-dip: A chip or pitch hit fat.
Dance floor: The putting green.
Does your husband play?: Said to a male golfer when his putt comes up short.
Duck Hook: A shot that moves violently left, similar to the way ducks land.
Elephants Ass: A popped up tee-shot. High and stinks.
Fanny: Nick Faldo's caddy or…
FM:You have to say this a few times before someone asks, "what's FM". You say…"the F…ing Middle of course."
Full flaps: A shot that goes too far.
Golden Bear: Jack Nicklaus, undisputed king of golf.
Golden Ferret: A shot holed from a bunker.
Ham and egging it: When you and your partner play well on alternate holes, dovetailing as an effective team.
Impregnable quadrilateral: The Grand slam of four majors in one season by one player. Never achieved so far, probably won't ever be although Ben Hogan probably would have done if he competed in the 1953 USPGA.
Intellectually bankrupt shot: Stupid shot that you should have never thought about playing.
It's difficult to play that shot with the Ozone being so thin: Said when your partner messes up an easy shot.
James Bond stroke:A bad putt, shaken but not stirred.
Jigger: Old term for a 4-iron, also a magnificent little pub next to the Road hole at St Andrews.
Kate Moss: A shot that’s good looking but a little thin.
Large: Greg Norman's wallet or John Daly's driving.
Lead: Nick Faldo's former teacher.
Mick Jagger: A putt that has everything but lips out.
Mud Ball: A shot hit fat and covers the ball in mud.
Nuked it!: Hit the cover off the ball.
OD: Similar to FM but it stands for "Out D(Th)ere".
Roseanne: A shot that’s fat and ugly!
Rupaul: A double cross, a fade that turns into a pull shot.
Shrimp: A duck hook.
Snowman: An eight on your card.
Star Trek putter: Scotty (Cameron)…Beam me up Scotty is the phrase used when you hole a monster putt.
Thanks for popping in!: Say this to your opponent after you have soundly thrashed him 7&6.(Only if you know him well)
The 'Guvnor': Nick Faldo.
The long eared society: CBS Sports Gary McCords' reference to the Augusta Masters committee.
The Shark: Greg Norman.
The Walrus: Craig Stadler.
Tiger: Some guy who won 10 tournaments in 1999
Trunk-slammers: Pro golfers on the US tour that miss the cut on Friday.
Why, why, why?: Nick Faldo's response when his arrow straight 1-iron falls two feet short of the flag.
Yasser Arafat: Ugly and in the sand.
Have you got any more that you have heard of on your travels? Tell us on the forum!
I like the 'Blondie' one. I must remember that one next time I hit one straight up the middle.
Posted: 23/11/2001 at 16:35
Here's a couple more:
Wan Kenobi - from Star Wars - when you knock it out of bounds (OB Wan Kenobi)
pump action - knock it out of bounds, so you need to reload
Why is it I know so many terms for sticking the ball off the course???
Posted: 23/11/2001 at 17:33
I'll need to write it down. Can;t remember the last time I hit one straight up the middle!
Posted: 23/11/2001 at 17:34
what about on that hit a bit thin but it runs for ever ...called a sally gunnell ....an ugly runner.
bit nasty that SORRY SALLY...
Posted: 23/11/2001 at 21:07
I heard the one about Sally Gunnel at my local course near Cambridge one Friday afternoon. That evening at a friends birthday party I repeated it to a fellow golfer who quickly shushed me up and then introduced me to Sally Gunnel's parents sitting right behind us!! They are related to my friend and were visiting for the birthday.
Posted: 26/11/2001 at 16:19
Yeah - I've had one of my shots referred to as a 'sister - in - law'
You're up there but you know you shouldn't be.
Crude people golfers.
Posted: 26/11/2001 at 17:11
"Leeds".....you know where it is but you don't want to be there!!
Posted: 27/11/2001 at 12:57
shocking, and Sally Gunnel isn't even ugly if you ask me.
So what's your lot's slang for a birdie then, a Kylie?
Posted: 27/11/2001 at 16:28
No, a Kylie is a shot that is not very big but beautifully constructed.
Posted: 27/11/2001 at 18:28
Sorry Greta - this thread is a little less than PC, Bob normally intervenes and stops us 'lot' offending anyone.
Posted: 27/11/2001 at 18:29
Aye true.... but I believe Bob is on location in South America somewhere, hopefully coming back to write a report on the potential of creating a golf resort in the Amazon jungle?!
Posted: 28/11/2001 at 10:37
well, on behalf of all female golfers out there I would like to suggest a couple of alternatives:
A Pierce Brosnan (fair crack)
A nice hit on Sean Bean (good shot onto the green)
Looks like you might be taking shorthand for Robin Cook there (for a shot that you playing partner should never consider playing in a million years)
Posted: 28/11/2001 at 10:57
How about a condom, safe but it dosen't feel quite right
Posted: 30/11/2001 at 08:41
Just a couple more that I have picked up
a nipple tweaker - a shot that opens up the hole.
army golf - left right, left right
Posted: 30/11/2001 at 17:28
Posted: 30/11/2001 at 17:37
Oh dear, oh dear, I wish I hadn't looked at this thread.
Posted: 03/12/2001 at 11:20
Right! I'm back from the Amazon and I'm ashamed of the lot of you - as soon as my back's turned the tone gets lowered several notches. Now behave!
My thanks to Martin for introducing the golf terminology thread - one addition i would make would be 'the ooslam' - nearest the pin on a par three to collect any side bet (usually 20-50p from your playing partners), though a three putt makes it null and void and rolls over to the next par-three.
Posted: 04/12/2001 at 14:09
Hi Bob, trust your time up the Amazon was enjoyable.
Posted: 04/12/2001 at 14:16
Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand, one of my favourites!
Posted: 05/12/2001 at 15:24
'J-Arthur' (Rank) ...shank.
Posted: 06/12/2001 at 18:36