Tour Players and the Sh!ts.

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Tour Players and the Sh!ts.

Is it me, or do you agree there's an inordinate number of tour pros these days that cry off with a dose of the skitters?

Today it was Funky's pick Paul Casey crying off (and scuppering Tongchai Jaidee's chances into the bargain) with the squirts.

Now I could understand it if they were being put up in rat traps, or playing 1,000's of miles away in unfamiliar climes - where a bout of Delhi Belly is an occupational hazard. But in the states, in the best hotels (if not even in their own homes for some events), with an entourage of nutritionists, personal trainers and the like I'm struggling to see how this can be such a frequently occurring event.

For the last 15yrs I've been up, down and across UK Plc most weeks, ranging from Edinburgh to London, Norfolk to Pembrokeshire (and let's just say a lot of the digs weren't so much "5 star" as "2 candle") and the only time I've had a dose of the scowers was after a mate cooked me a meal in his flat.

So are pro golfers the unluckiest folk known to man in the "trotts" stakes or are they just as soft as their sh!tes?

Perhaps it is just the Brits that get the sh!ts. When we went to Egypt, a few years back, the Brits were running back and forth with aerosol arseholes but the Yanks din' have a problem. When we asked why, it appears that when they travel to 'unsavoury' places their doctors put 'em on low dose antibiotics. When my daughter travelled from Oz to Vietnam and Thailand her doctor here did the same thing. Only the Brits have to put up with the sh!ts - we don't get the necessary medication     

It's just tour pros, molly-coddled soft sh!tes!

MTP: in the Brian Barnes era maybe but nowadays the most alcoholic thing that passes this lot's lips is probably a wine gum, and even then not the claret one!

Some people have a cast iron stomach, and others get hot sweats when an onion is cut up! Does it really happen that often though?

It's lucky for these afflicted pros that they are always well out of contention when illness strikes