Uncle Lionel's Horoscope

What's in store for your golfing year

Lionel Irons
Wed, 29 Jan 2003

So what’s in store for you and your golf this year? We asked Lionel Irons – because he’s probably better known as ‘Medium Irons’ – for his predictions for the year ahead from his crystal NXT ball.

As well as identifying the traits of every sign of the zodiac, he knows what you need to do in 2003 to get the best from your golf game and given you a Star player to follow who shares your Horoscope sign.


Seve – impulsive Arian.

(March 21 – April 20)

Pioneering, courageous, impulsive, impatient

Your tendency to go for it‚ will pay off this year but you’ll need some help. Invest in clubs that will make a difference, a good fairway wood to reach those par 5s in two.

Suggest Callaway Steelhead III or Taylor Made 200 might do the trick. But beware matchplay competition. This is not your forté.

Avoid getting niggled by your putting. Put in all your practice here, because you’ll need it.

Seve Ballesteros (9/4/57)


(April 21-May 21)

Practical, reliable, warm-hearted, patient, excellent in business, strong-willed, love of luxury

Don’t be surprised if this proves to be your best year for golf, keep the old head down, grind at it and results will come. Some of your equipment is letting you down, especially golf balls. Maxfli A10 or Strata Tour Ultimate could suit. Your putter, too, might be in need of a change? Try an Odyssey Two-Ball model.

Stableford competitions are your best chance of success but your long irons need some work.

Star player: Jim Furyk (12/5/70)


(May 22 to June 21)

Clever, charming, thrives on intellectual stimulation but tendency to procrastinate

Concentration is all you need to improve this year. Don’t get caught in two minds, get a really good gap wedge and use it for everything around the green from 80 yards in. Suggest Cleveland or Titleist Vokey 52-degree.

Instead of the usual waster – though they may be a friend - get a solid partner for a change and chances are you’ll win a pairs competition at last.

Practise with that wedge until you can make it talk.

Star player: Phil Mickelson (16/6/70)


(June 22 – July 22)

Monty – Cancerian sensitivity.
Compassionate, sensitive, sympathetic, tenacious, good parent, protective, a powerful imagination

Bunkers are your friend so don’t worry about them. Fire at the pins even if they’re protected. Up and downs from the fringes will be meat and drink to you this year. Your tendency to slice sideways could be improved by some offset woods. Cobra has a reputation for solving this problem.

Your best games will be played on links and you could have matchplay success here. Practice those bunker shots.

Star player: Colin Montgomerie (23/6/63)


(July 23 to August 23)

Ambitious, courageous, strong willed, positive, independent, self-confident

You’re not an avid winter golfer, but don’t worry, a long hot summer is coming and your ability to hit 3- and 4- irons, straight, off firm fairways will hold your game together. Your driver could let you down and needs to be replaced with a ‘hot face’ club. Mizuno’s Blue Fire is the one for you.

An individualist, you should be up for a summer medal but you need to practice your wedge shots and develop a little more finesse.

Star player: Brad Faxon (1/8/61)


(August 24 – September 22)

Modest, shy, meticulous and reliable. also practical and diligent, intelligent and analytical.

Avoid fiddling about with new equipment, yours is perfectly adequate to get your handicap down.

Enter more competitions and you should win one this year if you play regularly. A putting lesson will improve your chances of holing out.

Star player: Padraig Harrington (31/8/71)


(September 23 – October 23)

Els – easy-going Libran.
Diplomatic, fair, urbane, charming, romantic, idealistic, peaceful, sociable and easy-going, but changeable, indecisive and easily influenced

Keep the doubts from creeping in by going with your first instincts. The first club you think of using is the right one.

Good year to change for a better set of irons, suggest Callaway X-16 when they finally arrive in a pro shop near you.

Enter a pairs matchplay competition, with a Taurean if possible and you’ll win it.

Practice with the long irons. Don’t just leave them in the bag looking pretty. Learn to hit them.

Star player: Ernie Els (17/10/69)


(October 24 – November 22)

Emotional and intuitive, powerful and passionate, exciting and magnetic. However emotions may be expressed penetratingly, intensely or coldly.

"There are not enough clubs in the bag for a whole round," said John McEnroe of his golf exploits. He often felt like chucking them in the water or breaking a putter. Do yourself a favour and buy a putter that costs so much it hurts. You’ll feel better. Scotty Cameron Laguna could suit you.

Take deep breath, count to ten and concentrate and a medal success could come your way. Practice your accuracy on approach shots.

Star player: David Duval


(Nov 23 – Dec 21)

Spirited and idealistic, occasionally shy with a tendency to be appalled by social injustice. However, you always looks on the bright side of bad situations.

Plotting your way around the course is the way you enjoy playing; accuracy is more important than distance. If you don’t play with forged irons treat yourself to a set, they will suit your style of play. Hogan Edge or Mizuno MX20 are fine, precision instruments.

Enter every Stableford competition where you can and rack up the points for a win.

You could be longer off the tee if you get some lessons and practice.

Star player: Elkington (8/12/62)


(Dec 22 – Jan 20)

Tiger –Ambitious and disciplined.
Practical, prudent, ambitious, disciplined, patient and humorous. On the dark side, pessimistic, fatalistic, miserly and rigid.

A cool approach is not always the best way to get motivated. Adrenalin is important for your top performance. Push yourself more, play for bigger stakes and have a reason to win.

Change your long irons for a reliable 7-wood. With an Adams GT clubs you’ll hit more greens from distance.

Matchplay competition is essential for you, play the man not the course. Practise sinking putts from 20 feet and you will guarantee one or two a round.

Star player: Tiger Woods (30/12/75)


(Jan 21 – Feb 18)

Friendly, honest loyal and inventive; independent and intellectual. However can be intractable, unpredictable and detached.

Forget looking stylish and having the best of everything, if you can’t use it, lose it. Trust what you have in the bag, if you need to change it will be balls. Titleist NXT Distance have your name on them. Stick with them.

With credibility being so important to you, aim to win a trophy, spend your money on lessons to achieve it, plan a campaign and you’ll succeed.

Practise course management; learn to plot your way round. Make sure you can carry any water hazard…if not, lay up.

Star player: Retief Goosen (3/2/69)


(Feb 19 – March 20)

Artistic and creative with a natural talent for understanding others. Sensitive and intuitive romantics and dreamers and usually lacking practical skills.

You play so well in bad conditions you can’t wait for the wind and rain. Stick to links if possible as these suit your gritty style. You do, however, need an accurate driver to help you on your way. Wilson’s Deep Red 365 is the one for you.

Pairs winter league could provide success but look around to set up a good partner. Don’t pick a fair weather golfer who could leave you in the lurch. Practical Librans are a good foil.

Practise the bump and run style of play, let the poseurs play the lob wedges.

Star player: Ian Woosnam 2/3/58



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