Page 3: Best golf jokes

Andy Roberts's picture
Wed, 30 Aug 2017

(Golf joke source:

Page 3: Best golf jokes


A man was addressing the ball when an announcement came over the loudspeaker: "Will the gentleman on hole number one please not hit from the Ladies' tee box."

The man backs away, a little distracted, then approaches his ball again. As he does, the same announcement comes over the loud-speaker: "Will the gentleman on hole number one please not hit from the Ladies' tee box."

The man is getting irritated now, and after backing away from his shot, approaches his ball one more time. This time the announcement came: "We really need the gentleman on hole number one to move off of the Ladies' tee box!"

To which the man turns around and yells: "And I really need the announcer to shut up and let me play my second shot!" 

Page 3: Best golf jokes


A United States citizen is vacationing on his own in Ireland. He decides to play a round of golf and is paired with three local gents.

He takes a few practice swings, steps up to the first tee, and proceeds to hook the ball out of bounds. He shakes his head, reaches in his pocket, and re-tees another ball. He tells his playing partners that he is taking a Mulligan. He pounds one down the center of the fairway about 280 yards out.

With a big smile, he asks the others "In the US, we call that a Mulligan; was wondering what you called it here in Ireland."

After a moment of silence, one of the locals replies, "Hitting three."


Guy gets to a long par 3 over water. A voice from above says, "Hit the new Titleist Pro V1."

The guy tees up the Titleist and takes a practice swing.

The voice comes back and says: "Never mind, hit a range ball." 


Four golfers went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf.

The pro asked: "Did you guys have a good game today?"

The first golfer said: "Yes, I had three riders today."

The second golfer said:"I had the most riders ever. I had five."

The third golfer said: "I had seven riders, the same as last time."

The last golfer said: "I beat my old record. I had 12 riders today."

After they went into the locker room, another golfer who had heard the guys talking about their game went to the pro and said: "I've been playing golf for a long time and thought I knew all the terminology of the game, but what's a rider?"

The pro said: "A rider is when you hit the ball far enough to actually get in the golf cart and ride to it."