David Feherty: best quotes from TV pundit

Reports suggest Northern Ireland native is to leave CBS as commentator after 19 years

Andy Roberts's picture
Wed, 2 Sep 2015

David Feherty: best quotes from TV pundit

David Feherty called his last tournament for CBS Sports during The Barclays on Sunday, according to Sports Business Daily.

The article says CBS Sports has decided to terminate its 19-year relationship with Feherty, 57, after the network could not reach an agreement over his future role.

Fox, Sky and NBC are possibilities for the former European Ryder Cup player, who hosts an interview show on Golf Channel - an NBC Sports brand - called "Feherty".

Feherty, who was born in Northern Ireland and is now a naturalised citizen of the United States, joined CBS in 1997 and has long been the on-course voice of the broadcast, standing out with his candor and wit.

With that in mind, here are some of his greatest quotes:

On Jim Furyk's swing

"It looks like an octopus falling out of a tree."

"It looks like a one-armed man trying to wrestle a snake in a phone booth."

On Phil Mickelson's aggressive style of play

"Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff."

Feherty tells a good yarn, too. Here's one about Mickelson.

“Phil is brilliant, but he’s nuts. There’s something not quite right about that boy. Phil is watching a movie that only Phil can see. His mother told me, ‘Phil was so clumsy as a little boy, we had to put a football helmet on him until he was 4 because he kept bumping into things.’ I told her, ‘Mary, Mary, I’m a writer, you can’t keep handing me material like this.’ So the next time I saw Phil I said, ‘You didn’t really wear a football helmet in the house until you were 4, did you?’ He said, ‘It was more like 5.’ “

On Sir Nick Faldo

"I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn't be here this week. He is attending the birth of his next wife."

On Gary Player

"Gary thinks he invented fitness because he used to do push-ups on the airplane. He’s just upset because you can’t win a major any more with a low, flat hook and a Napoleon complex."

On watching Tiger Woods for the first time

Feherty said on air that the only available option for Woods was to hit a a wedge out sideways and try and scramble a par. Tiger promptly hit a towering, slicing two iron to 12 feet.

"I don't know what that is, but I know there weren't two of them on Noah's Ark."

On calling golf shots

"That was a great shot - if they’d have put the pin there today."

"That ball is so far left Lassie couldn’t find it even if it was wrapped in bacon."

"That's a great shot with that swing."

"It's okay - the bunker stopped it."

On Augusta National, home of The Masters

"It’s just a glorious day. The only way to ruin a day like this would be to play golf on it."

On giving up alcohol

“I didn’t quit drinking because I was a bad drunk. I quit because I was a spectacular drunk. It got to be like a video game, where you get to the highest level and it’s not even a challenge any more.”

Feherty has a broad range of risque one-liners. Here's an example, at the less explicit end of the spectrum.

“Fortunately, he (Rory) is 22 years old so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body.”

What are  your favourite David Feherty quotes? What do you make of Feherty as an on-course announcer? Share your thoughts in the forum, on Twitter, on Facebook or visit us on YouTube.