GolfMagic readers post their favourite golf jokes...

We have received hundreds of golf jokes this week... here's a selection of our favourites!

Andy Roberts's picture
Fri, 20 Mar 2020
GolfMagic readers post their favourite golf jokes...

GolfMagic revealed its seven favourite golf jokes earlier this week, because, well let's face it, we are all in need of some laughs during these difficult and uncertain times due to the coronavirus outbreak. 

But off the back of this post on our Facebook page, we asked YOU to submit your own favourite golf jokes, and we received just shy of 160 comments so thank you for getting in touch! 

RELATED: GOLFMAGIC'S FAVOURITE GOLF JOKES

We have scrolled through each of your jokes - sadly having to eradicate some of the naughtiest ones - and we have landed on our favourite six from our readers.

If you do want to read some of the ruder ones, we recommend you head to this Facebook thread.

Anyway, let's start with an all-time classic, first told by golf legend Lee Trevino but retold by one of our readers...

JOKE #1 - RON THOMPSON

Two guys are out playing golf when a thunderstorm quickly moves in. One of the guys reaches into his bag, grabs his club and holds it up in the air. The other said: "Are you crazy?! You're going to get struck by lightning!" The guy with the club says: "Don't worry... God can't even hit a 1-iron."

JOKE #2 - RODNEY WELLS

Tiger is golfing with one of his friends. They both tee off while they are walking up the fairway together. Tiger says: "Hey, have you heard about the new Super Walmart that they are building?" His friend replies: "No, where are they building it?" Tiger replies: "Between your ball and mine!"

JOKE #3 - LIAM O'GRADHAIGH

I hadn't played golf in about two years due to an injury, and I got a last minute invitation to fill out a foursome for an alumni weekend golf outing. I was having a horrible round and I was just hoping for at least a few bright spots to end the day. Turns out I hit two of my best balls on 18... unfortunately it was only after I stepped on the rake!"

JOKE #4 - SEAN MCDEARMON (we thought long and hard about whether to include this, but it did make us laugh so it had to be included...)

Police show up at the Woods' residence to find Tiger bruised and confused standing next to a wrecked SUV. One cup turns to his wife and says: "We were told you hit your husband with a golf club repeatedly. How many times did you hit him?" Elin replies: "Four, maybe five... put me down for a five."

Sean adds: "Sorry if this offends you but it's the funniest joke I've ever heard."

JOKE #5 - SIMON FORD

Bit of advice I gave to a struggling golfer the other day: "You need to take a couple of inches off each of your clubs." The golfer replied: "Will that improve my game?" I answered: "No, they'll just fit in the bin better."

JOKE #6 - JOHN BRENT

A man and his wife are playing golf, and on the 8th hole he slices his ball into the woods. The man finds his ball next to a shed and his wife says he should punch his ball back to the fairway. He says if he opens the shed door he can hit his ball right through up to the green. So he takes his shot, but the ball hits the shed, bounces back, and sadly hits his wife and kills her. Some 10 years later, the guy is playing the same course with some random dude, and the same thing happens on the 8th hole. He slices his ball into the trees and they find the ball lying right near the same shed. The dude sees he can open the door and hit up through to the green. The guy says: "I wouldn't do that. I tried that same shot 10 years ago and had to take a seven."

What's your favourite golf joke? Keep them coming in by sharing them on our GolfMagic Facebook page