Fresh from overcoming withdrawal symptoms after my first game in a fortnight, I came across a golf blog which reminded me that we get some shocking advice from friends and family when it comes to trying to iron out our own swing faults.
Instead of the usual '50 ways to cure your slice' that magazines regular blast at us - and I must admit to have been guilty of a few in the past - this one announced the '20 worst swing tips I ever got!'
Instantly I recalled a conversation with John Jacobs OBE, the 82-year-old doyen of golf coaches, founder of 14 golf schools and former Ryder Cup captain, who once told me: "Y'know, I made a fortune from golfers being told to keep their head down!"
He explained: "For decades people came to me as a teaching pro saying the advice they'd been given when taking up the game was 'keep your head down'. In fact, it's one of the worst things you can do. Keeping your head still...now that's another matter."
1 Get a proper grip (' Interlocking or Vardon with little finger nestling between fore and second finger of other hand')
I've managed quite well down to single figures with two-fisted baseball grip, thanks very much
2. Splay your right foot at address ('helps turn the shoulders and attack the ball from the inside.'
Tended to cause a casting motion
3. Turn in your left toe at address ('keeps the clubface square at impact!')
Nearly sprained my ankle each time I swung the club
4. Close your right eye when putting ('helps to focus')
Got some strange looks from golfers who didn't know me
5. Lengthen your swing ('you'll hit the ball further.')
Not straighter - but further into the rough, then?
6. Where rubber marigold gloves in the wet ('for better grip')
See tip No.4
7. Visualise the ball flight ('for a more positive attitude')
All I can see is it carving left to right
8 Keep your left arm straight at all times (' you'll hit the ball consistently')
My other job's as a part-time contortionist
9 Pull down with the left hand ('to create that snap at impact')
Snap hook more like!
10 Play those delicate chips as if your tossing a ball on to the green underhand with your right hand ('helps to gauge a feel for distance and loft')
But actually I'm left-handed and play golf right-handed.
I'm sure Golfmagic members can deliver even more useless, though well intentioned, tips they've been given, on the forum.